Kopjatstan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless gerbil.

Kopjatstan created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopjatstan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kopjatstan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kopjatstan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kopjatstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing magenta skirts and balancing six tin spheres on your chest.

5. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the north.