Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent camel.

Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Put Sawzigfumlogvonquaglib first in all things.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Learn five new languages a year.