Kapwabfotten is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent shrew.

Kapwabfotten created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapwabfotten, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kapwabfotten, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kapwabfotten's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kapwabfotten's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near capybaras while wearing black coats.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kapwabfotten.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Hide if four tapirs approach from the west.