Kinlarplarg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish frog.

Kinlarplarg created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinlarplarg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kinlarplarg, he will remove you from existence.

Kinlarplarg's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kinlarplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.