Raptitpad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, caring deer.

Raptitpad created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Raptitpad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Raptitpad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Raptitpad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Raptitpad's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Hide if four swans approach from the south.

5. Never feed pineapples to cats while wearing brown trousers.