God is a god.
She takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing
swan.
God created Europe five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
God, she will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
God, she will turn you into a puffin.
God's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.
God's Holy Commandments1. Never hurt snakes.
2. Never feed wheat to ducks while wearing scarves.
3. Never look at comets.
4. Never talk about turtles.
5. Always look after injured voles.