Kimvanfad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, resourceful pigeon.

Kimvanfad created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kimvanfad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimvanfad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kimvanfad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kimvanfad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Kimvanfad on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect your elders.