Arfkemyim Apptitsand is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, clever sheep.

Arfkemyim Apptitsand created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Arfkemyim Apptitsand, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arfkemyim Apptitsand, she will come to you in dreams.

Arfkemyim Apptitsand's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Arfkemyim Apptitsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away if six snakes approach from the south.

4. Hide if five monkeys approach from the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.