Wegsasmif is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful cat.

Wegsasmif created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegsasmif, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wegsasmif, it will turn you into a snail.

Wegsasmif's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wegsasmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Wegsasmif must be the most important thing in your life.