Zignulkap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciless hummingbird.

Zignulkap created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zignulkap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zignulkap, she will turn you into a slug.

Zignulkap's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zignulkap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the south.

5. Zignulkap loves horses, so they must be honoured.