Flandadarm is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow donkey.

Flandadarm created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flandadarm, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flandadarm, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flandadarm's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Flandadarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.