Dudgutfed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited swallow.

Dudgutfed created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dudgutfed, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dudgutfed, she will destroy your favourite star.

Dudgutfed's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dudgutfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about spacetime near birds while wearing violet hats.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must love Dudgutfed.

5. Do not commit murder.