Pomcumgad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate goblin.

Pomcumgad created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomcumgad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pomcumgad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pomcumgad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Pomcumgad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never jump in the presence of pigs.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to goats while wearing blue skirts.

5. Do not covet oxen.