Dapsigvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful jellyfish.

Dapsigvonk created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapsigvonk, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dapsigvonk, she will think nothing of it.

Dapsigvonk's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dapsigvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing yellow dresses.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Dapsigvonk must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Put Dapsigvonk first in all things.

5. Do not make images of living things.