Xenpompig Bothinlun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional coyote.

Xenpompig Bothinlun created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xenpompig Bothinlun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xenpompig Bothinlun, she will turn you into a tree.

Xenpompig Bothinlun's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Xenpompig Bothinlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Do not kill geese.