Vidhivig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited duck.

Vidhivig created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidhivig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vidhivig, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vidhivig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vidhivig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vidhivig.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Never feed limes to dolphins while wearing shirts.

5. Never laugh near geese.