Sisfennel is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, calm jellyfish.

Sisfennel created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sisfennel, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sisfennel, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sisfennel's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sisfennel's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lots of corn to horses while wearing violet kilts.