Jabvanster is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever dugong.

Jabvanster created the Sunflower Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Jabvanster, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabvanster, it will turn you into a rock.

Jabvanster's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Jabvanster's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ants while wearing orange rings.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.