Govquatcap is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, quiet walrus.

Govquatcap created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govquatcap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Govquatcap, she will destroy your home planet.

Govquatcap's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Govquatcap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Govquatcap.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.