Langettaflak is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring troll.

Langettaflak created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Langettaflak, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Langettaflak, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Langettaflak's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Langettaflak's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always treat seals with great respect.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Worship no other gods but Langettaflak.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.