Nelldotnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish grasshopper.

Nelldotnell created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelldotnell, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nelldotnell, he will jump up and down on your head.

Nelldotnell's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nelldotnell's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue eagles for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Nelldotnell in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.
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