Hapgemkop is a god.
It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, quiet
seal.
Hapgemkop created a photon nine billion years ago.
If you believe in
Hapgemkop, it will give you a free moon.
If you do not believe in
Hapgemkop, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.
Hapgemkop's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.
Hapgemkop's Holy Commandments1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Hapgemkop in the centre of the settlement.
2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.
4. Never paint your hands mauve.
5. Feed all hungry dolphins.