Stigyattran Sabgarged is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish raccoon.

Stigyattran Sabgarged created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigyattran Sabgarged, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stigyattran Sabgarged, he will send you a sign.

Stigyattran Sabgarged's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Stigyattran Sabgarged's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.