Mapfetmif Fotkampark is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented frog.

Mapfetmif Fotkampark created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Mapfetmif Fotkampark, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapfetmif Fotkampark, it will turn you into a puffin.

Mapfetmif Fotkampark's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Mapfetmif Fotkampark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about dark energy near otters while wearing gray kilts.

5. Never talk about enzymes.