Komkongom Mitsugmon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful hamster.

Komkongom Mitsugmon created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komkongom Mitsugmon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Komkongom Mitsugmon, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Komkongom Mitsugmon's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Komkongom Mitsugmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck red.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always help sheep.

5. Never mention otters.