Midlenkin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless zebra.

Midlenkin created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Midlenkin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midlenkin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Midlenkin's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Midlenkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to mites while wearing shirts.

2. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

3. Hide from purple frogs for they are unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Midlenkin.

5. Do not kill sharks.