Wikjopquag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring giraffe.

Wikjopquag created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wikjopquag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wikjopquag, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wikjopquag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Wikjopquag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Worship no other gods but Wikjopquag.

3. Never bounce near shrews.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Wikjopquag in the centre of the settlement.