Joptargig Betkammap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, two-faced wolf.

Joptargig Betkammap created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Joptargig Betkammap, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Joptargig Betkammap, she will turn you into a sheep.

Joptargig Betkammap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Joptargig Betkammap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Joptargig Betkammap in the centre of the settlement.