Beg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witless parrot.

Beg created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Beg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Beg, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Beg's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Beg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Beg loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.