Fasxuckcum is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, intelligent dingo.

Fasxuckcum created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasxuckcum, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fasxuckcum, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fasxuckcum's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fasxuckcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near squirrels while wearing black coats and balancing nine copper spheres on your arms.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Pray towards the west.