Bessnegbon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty dryad.

Bessnegbon created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessnegbon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bessnegbon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bessnegbon's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bessnegbon's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near horses while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing seven gold spheres on your neck.