Bestxuckfit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, two-faced cow.

Bestxuckfit created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestxuckfit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bestxuckfit, she will not care at all.

Bestxuckfit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bestxuckfit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.