Nilcemcam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, stupid snake.

Nilcemcam created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nilcemcam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nilcemcam, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nilcemcam's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nilcemcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed lemons to dolphins while wearing hats.

5. Always obey Nilcemcam's priests.