Kopceplarp is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, cheerful squid.

Kopceplarp created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopceplarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kopceplarp, she will turn you into a tree.

Kopceplarp's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kopceplarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Kopceplarp loves whales, so they must be respected.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.