Tikyikhan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic rhinoceros.

Tikyikhan created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikyikhan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikyikhan, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tikyikhan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tikyikhan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing gray dresses.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Tikyikhan on top of all buildings.