Maphitfon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive gerbil.

Maphitfon created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maphitfon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Maphitfon, he will think nothing of it.

Maphitfon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Maphitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Erect five carbon sculptures of Maphitfon on top of important buildings.