Hogbenpom is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, slow hippopotamus.

Hogbenpom created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogbenpom, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hogbenpom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hogbenpom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hogbenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt moths.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Hide from mauve voles for they are unholy.

5. Run away if three birds approach from the south.