Sabflyquag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, narcissistic spider.

Sabflyquag created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabflyquag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sabflyquag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sabflyquag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Sabflyquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lemons to mice while wearing indigo boots.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Sabflyquag loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.