Fithinmif is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome aardvark.

Fithinmif created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fithinmif, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fithinmif, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fithinmif's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fithinmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help sick monkeys.