Matkablid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying hippopotamus.

Matkablid created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Matkablid, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Matkablid, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Matkablid's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Matkablid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Do not keep five porpoises in a large pit.

3. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never feed lots of limes to grasshopers while wearing pink hats.