Flabjarnnad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, duplicitous donkey.

Flabjarnnad created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flabjarnnad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flabjarnnad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flabjarnnad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Flabjarnnad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near badgers while wearing violet scarves and balancing four silver spheres on your head.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect your elders.