Sadontfut is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful tapir.

Sadontfut created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadontfut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sadontfut, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sadontfut's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Sadontfut's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. Respect your elders.