Guphingom Sasbiftig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, temperamental crane.

Guphingom Sasbiftig created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guphingom Sasbiftig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Guphingom Sasbiftig, she will not invite you to parties.

Guphingom Sasbiftig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Guphingom Sasbiftig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.