Nartcenbif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm mouse.

Nartcenbif created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartcenbif, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nartcenbif, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nartcenbif's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nartcenbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near rats while wearing violet shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Worship no other gods but Nartcenbif.