Santifquatmid is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, almighty armadillo.

Santifquatmid created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Santifquatmid, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Santifquatmid, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Santifquatmid's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Santifquatmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing green shirts.

2. Retreat if five great tits approach from the south.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Santifquatmid loves monkeys, so they must be respected.