Fetzenlist is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing eagle.

Fetzenlist created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetzenlist, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetzenlist, she will turn you into a snail.

Fetzenlist's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fetzenlist's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.