Tofbattag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, smart capybara.

Tofbattag created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbattag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tofbattag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tofbattag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tofbattag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about asteroids.