Lidstafjap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest alligator.

Lidstafjap created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidstafjap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lidstafjap, it will cry a lot.

Lidstafjap's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lidstafjap's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear purple coats.

4. Worship no other gods but Lidstafjap.

5. Respect your elders.