Timcamweg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced spider.

Timcamweg created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timcamweg, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Timcamweg, it will manifest in front of you.

Timcamweg's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Timcamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to ducks while wearing boots.

2. Run away if six hamsters approach from the west.

3. Never think about bacteria.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never paint your legs yellow.