Dusstaptail is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical aardvark.

Dusstaptail created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Dusstaptail, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dusstaptail, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dusstaptail's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dusstaptail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Run away from purple seals, for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick eagles.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.